when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
