Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
