I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
