is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
