I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
