I am puke
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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