We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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