Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
