Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
