i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
