Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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