my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize