Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The best revenge is premature balding
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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