Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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