He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
