hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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