We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
