Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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