Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
