You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
