When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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