Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
