One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hippo gnu deer
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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