I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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