Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
