So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
honey bunches of taint.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
