Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
