Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
