I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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