when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
