the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
