I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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