i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
