Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
