We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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