if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
