omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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