There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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