Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
