Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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