R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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