Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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