I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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