Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
