You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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