It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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