I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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