I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
