It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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