Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
