She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
